upTOdate
So I guess I owe this thing an update. So I think that I have to change my theme since all the pictures have apparently disappeared. Oh, glory.
Well winter is coming. It is always the hardest season for me. Always. And I always dread the death.
There is always snow at our annual youth retreat. This is the first year that I can remember where there hasn’t been snow. I think that it was the weirdest retreat of my life. I led worship each morning. Can’t say that that was easy. Ever since Spiritual Enrichment Days there has been something tying us to the ground. Conflict, maybe? Rebellion? A spirit of self-sufficiency? I’m not sure, and I can’t tell. It seems like too many souls have been fuelled by emotion, and that emotion has come to fail them. We need to be people of substance and spirit. On Saturday night Taylor and I felt a strong need to pray in authority and power. We were led outside and marched around the chapel seven times, clapping and praying. Then we shouted. SHOUTED! That the walls would break.
At the alter I just stood there near the wall. Every time I wanted to move, the Spirit said, stay. So I did. Then Whitney took my hand and began to sob. We embraced. She collapsed. We just sat there forever, her head on my knee and my arm tight around her body. I felt release of power going through my hand into her spirit. She was released in prophecy. Great things happened, but the Devil tried to steal it from us. He came in with a spirit of confusion, and I didn’t know what to do.
Sometimes I feel so young and inexperienced. I'm a leader, but I don’t know where to go. Where should I correct and rebuke, and where should I let them learn for themselves? I don’t want clones; I want release. Sometimes I feel like my words are empty. Like they’re only good for my spirit and those that think like me (there are few that do), and that to everyone else all I speak is irritating noise. I hope they will see.
Winter is coming. It is always the hardest season for me. Always. But I cling to the truth that where there is death, there always comes new life.
Well winter is coming. It is always the hardest season for me. Always. And I always dread the death.
There is always snow at our annual youth retreat. This is the first year that I can remember where there hasn’t been snow. I think that it was the weirdest retreat of my life. I led worship each morning. Can’t say that that was easy. Ever since Spiritual Enrichment Days there has been something tying us to the ground. Conflict, maybe? Rebellion? A spirit of self-sufficiency? I’m not sure, and I can’t tell. It seems like too many souls have been fuelled by emotion, and that emotion has come to fail them. We need to be people of substance and spirit. On Saturday night Taylor and I felt a strong need to pray in authority and power. We were led outside and marched around the chapel seven times, clapping and praying. Then we shouted. SHOUTED! That the walls would break.
At the alter I just stood there near the wall. Every time I wanted to move, the Spirit said, stay. So I did. Then Whitney took my hand and began to sob. We embraced. She collapsed. We just sat there forever, her head on my knee and my arm tight around her body. I felt release of power going through my hand into her spirit. She was released in prophecy. Great things happened, but the Devil tried to steal it from us. He came in with a spirit of confusion, and I didn’t know what to do.
Sometimes I feel so young and inexperienced. I'm a leader, but I don’t know where to go. Where should I correct and rebuke, and where should I let them learn for themselves? I don’t want clones; I want release. Sometimes I feel like my words are empty. Like they’re only good for my spirit and those that think like me (there are few that do), and that to everyone else all I speak is irritating noise. I hope they will see.
Winter is coming. It is always the hardest season for me. Always. But I cling to the truth that where there is death, there always comes new life.
3 Comments:
you're words are full do not worry.
It's not your job to understand if what your saying is "hitting" them. trust me. it hits them,
i love yu. and i understand you..
i hope? i beeliveeee i do!
winter is beauty its clean, a new start.
remember this.
i love you
(its almost my birthday. ...)
Carrisa, i concer with tay! Your words hold depth and meaning... if you give them to God and let Him direct them then it will hit! Also, its not your job to 'make it hit'- thats the spirits job! You are just the beutiful vessle that God graceously decided to use! Let the spirit of the LIVING God POUR into you and you will be filled to overflowing so that others can't help but be blessed just from your overflow! Go check out Isaiah 44:1-5; 49; and 42:1-9! They have really refreshed me lately! Anyway, love you, Be blessed!
Thanks, friends. I'm so thankful for y'all. (much love)
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